How to Botch Character Introductions

[Introductions in your book-source]

 I've been blogging about how to make any piece of writing more literary or meaningful. As we all know, the first page, the first line, is critical. If a reader swings by to sample your book through Amazon or a book store, one boring line is enough to leave your book gathering dust. The same is true for the introduction of your character. Your reader may forgive an action or thought that seems untrue to your character later. But while you're just introducing your character, there has to be that something, that unique sweetness, that compelling charm, that devil inside, something that makes the character want to join your protagonist and other main characters on a journey. Plus, a weak or cliched antagonist is enough to make your book fall flat. Otherwise, all the brilliant scenery, plotting, clever word plays, etc. in the world will not save your book.  

[Your new roommate comes in-source]

Imagine you're in college, and your roommate walks in. Think of what would be the biggest turnoff for you, the one thing he/she/they/it would say that would make you go, "Here we go. I wonder how fast I can transfer to a new room." THAT in a character may also get your book shelved for the foreseeable future by anyone.  Do any of the following, and your character will end up like that roommate, in the dust. 

[Here comes the data dump-source]

1. Be a data dumper. Imagine that roommate, Pat for the sake of argument, walks in and throws their entire life story on you in the first five minutes. Too many novice authors think this is the best way that the reader can know everything they need to know about your character and their world. Granted, there are classical novels that do this, but it won't work today. Sneak those details in later. 

[The punching bag-source]

2. Be a punching bag or a victim. Okay, say Pat walks in the room and doesn't do much. You try to start a discussion or an argument. You may get a rise, but it's only in response to what you do. This character never takes the initiative. Stuff is done to them, and they respond. This is the kind of character that makes for dull reading. Pat can take it one step further and whine about everything, becoming more annoying still and a victim. Either way, Pat would have a hard time keeping readers interested.

[The irredeemable monster-source]

3.  Be entirely repulsive and irredeemable. Say Pat walks in and kicks your cat. You'd be filing charges before you take your second breath. This is true of protagonists, antagonists, and everything in between. If you think of everyone as the hero in their own story, you'll realize that everyone has a reason to do what they do. If the reader sees that your villain hates humans and wants them all dead EXCEPT the crazy cat ladies of the world because he loves his grandmother and delusionally thinks she will die unless everyone else does, you have a motivation. You have humanization. You don't like what he's doing, but at least it has an internal logic. 

[Nebula the antihero-source]

The same is true of your hero. He/she/it/they can be an antihero, sure, but think of "Guardians of the Galaxy." They're pretty selfish and don't always act like upstanding citizens, but they're a out of fun to watch and always save the metaphoric cat in the end. Occasionally, an absolute and irredeemable jerk of a villain or, even more occasionally, a protagonist, works, but they're not something to overuse, and you should have a reason to use them. 

[The flawless Mary Sue-source]

4. Be too perfect. In internet/fanfic terms, they are a  Mary Sue/Gary Stu. Say Pat comes in and says and does everything perfectly. You spend the week with Pat, and in looks, in actions, in EVERYTHING, Pat is flawless and perfect. Pat knows how to do everything faster, better, kinder, more heroically than you. Pat has NO flaws. How do you relate to Pat? You really don't. No human does. Without flaws, like some iterations of Superman, Pat would be admirable in a distant sort of way, but just not interesting or relatable.  Since a good story grows out of the flaws and weaknesses of the main character, the story is bound to fall flat as well. And a reader very quickly knows it. 

[Vanity-source]

5. Be an ego on wheels. Pat steps into your room, and looks not at you but into the mirror. Everything Pat says is about Pat. This can go hand-in-hand with being a Mary Sue or Gary Stu. It really doesn't matter if Pat is the literal god of beauty. If you've got a main character whose head won't fit in the room due to a swollen ego, there better be something or someone standing nearby with a needle to pop said ego (even if it's the narrative itself showing the character is not as great as all that), or you're going to lose the reader quickly.  

[Parade-source]

6. Show up with a parade then disappear. Say Pat walks in with an entourage. Everything about Pat is awesome and exciting. Every word Pat says is fascinating. Confetti flies everywhere. Then, within about a page or two, Pat blends into the scenery (or gets murdered or dies of cancer or just disappears) and it turns out you're the main character, and no one warned you. If you make a big deal of a character or event, it better be for a reason and with a payoff, or your reader will feel offended and angry at you personally as the author.  

[Picasso in the wrong world-source]

7. Be a Picasso in the land of impressionism. If your main character, your villain, or anyone else stands out as a bad fit for the word around them, too dark/too light/too something/just wrong, it's going to bug the reader unless there's a reason. Sometimes, you have a happy world, and a knight of Cerebus shows up (a vile villain in a saccharine story) to darken and deepen the story, it can work if done well. But if the character just proceeds among the crowd and is unexplained and does nothing to justify this difference in tone, it won't be done well. If everyone is wacky or strange, one more strange character won't stand out. The problem is when it's just one freak in a normal world for no reason at all. This can be an extreme in any direction, too stupid, too smart, too pretty, etc. If you know what you're doing, go ahead. If not, tread lightly. 

There are so many other ways to botch an introduction.  Read examples of good introductions to avoid all of this. Above is a list of just a few of the ways to get it wrong. Look carefully at your characters and how they are introduced. Does each one work in a compelling way that fits with your world?  If not, you have some work to do. 

Characters Come Alive

["Gulliver's Travels" statue; source]

I've blogging about writing in a literary or meaningful manner.  I'd heard before that good stories are driven by characters. As I've blogged previously, according to Orson Scott Card, you can theoretically drive a story through an interesting location (think Gulliver's Travels or, arguably, much of the Lord of the Rings trilogy), a question (pick a whodunnit kind of mystery, and you'll find the subgenre title speaks for itself), a plot (most sci-fi or fantasy plotlines where the story is king, and the characters are interchangeable, also arguably Lord of the Rings).  However, some the most compelling fiction is driven by character because character is story.   

[Macbeth; source]

I've heard from various sources that character-driven stories hinge on the dynamic between characters' desires and fears.  Toward the end of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, Lizzy's story exemplifies the desire to overcome fears that keep the two main character's apart. Standard romances from all eras and in all subgenres play out in that tension between fear--fear of rejection, of embarassment, of whatever, and the desire to get with the other character. Shakespeare's Macbeth showcases two main characters that desire power and fear losing it.  Hamlet shows a protagonist paralyzed by fear and unable, without a lot of drama and death, to fulfill his father's desire for revenge.  In Victor Hugo's Les Miserables, Val Jean, while in hiding, fears discovery by Javert and a return to his hellish existence in prison. However, his desire to see his adoptive daughter's happiness leads him to sacrifice and risk all to bring her that happiness.  All of these characters' stories feature the tension between fear and desire.  

[Austen characters-source]

In author Abbie Eamons's video "The Hidden Science behind Disney Movies," she adds to this depth of character with the dimension of a fundamental misunderstanding that a character must work through in order to achieve growth and become a more mature character.  For instance, Lizzy thinks of Darcy as a rich jerk, proud and unbending.  She thinks of herself, meanwhile, as someone who is a clear-eyed judge of character.  It's only after she understands that she, too, deals with both pride and prejudice and that her judgement of him was somewhat hasty that the walls between the two can come down.  Macbeth's misunderstanding is that he cannot be defeated or dethroned.  Growth in characters throughout literature, from Shakespeare to Austen and beyond, characters start with a misunderstanding that needs to be overcome for that character to grow. 

[dialogue; source]

Eamons also recorded another video, "How to Write Great Dialogue" in which she further showed how each character will have patterns in their speech and a manner of manipulating people around them.  As you create and write your characters, you can make sure each sounds unique. Understanding their hobbies, obsessions, jobs, etc. can help you tailor each character's speech patterns. A Medieval princess wouldn't use metaphors about modern tech unless she's a time traveler.  As Eamons points out, a character who has never seen the ocean would not use oceanic metaphors for everything, however a fisherman would.  If you were writing a book like Pride and Prejudice, you'd go through and make sure each of the main and minor characters have their own unique patterns of speech.  If you go through and mark the dialogue of each of Lizzy's sisters, father, mother, aunt, and uncle, you'll find that you don't really need a dialogue tag to know any speeches about nerves would come from Lizzy's mom, melodrama and self-centeredness would come from Lydia, and self-sacrificing sweetness would come from Jane.  Each character should sound unique. 

[Your writing; source]

As you go through your characters, figure out what their desires are vs. their fears.  How does your plotline relate/play into those desires and fears?  How can you make each chapter highlight that drama and struggle?  What kind of misunderstanding does your character start with, and how do they overcome it?  Does each character have his/her own unique isms/speech patterns?  If the answer is no to any of these questions, it's time to look closer at your characters.