Action like in a Movie

Think like a Movie:

I have heard it said that one of the best strategies for writing is to imagine your book as a movie.  Focus on the action.  What do characters do?  What can you show about what's going on inside by what they do?  Good writing prioritizes show, not tell.  Novice writers want to write, "George was really tired of his friends.  They always did the same thing every day."  Good writers understand that this would make for a terrible moment in a movie.  You'd get some kind of a cheesy and unnecessary voiceover.  However, you can instead show the same idea.  You could write, "George shuffled into the room where his friends slumped around the floor, playing with their ratty-edged cards.  He rolled his eyes and sighed, lowering himself to his corner of the floor where he'd worn the carpet thin."  We don't need to be told he's bored.  We see he's bored.  We don't even need to get inside his head if the reader can see boredom in everything he does.   If there's a spot where you catch yourself telling the reader anything, flip it and show the same thing.  Pretend you're the director in a movie.  How would you have an actor show what you're trying to convey?

Strong action and powerful moments are not to be built up by weak verbs, adjectives, and adverbs.  In fact, most professional writers say it's best to avoid adverbs and adjectives as much as possible.  Stephen King's biggest problem with the early Harry Potter books was that they were chock full of adjectives and adverbs.  The first time I read these books, I didn't notice this.  Then I read Stephen King's review, and the adjectives and particularly adverbs jumped right off the page.  It's best to eliminate the extra wordiness of modifiers and focus on what you're really trying to say.  Compare these two:  1. "Handsome, long-haired George quickly lifted his really sharp sword angrily into the air and screamed loudly at the very big group that was running right at him."  2. "George's hair whipped in the wind as he thrust his sword to the sky and shouted his defiance at the charging horde."  Choose your words, carefully, and none of the modifiers are necessary.

Strong Verbs:

Part of showing is a focus on strong action verbs.  While writing the first draft, it's best not to focus on editing and catching all the to be verbs.  The writer's movie "Finding Forrester" advises that you write your first draft with your heart and the second with your head.  In other words, write the first draft just to get the words and the story on the page.  But for the second draft, each word needs to be carefully considered, each verb changed from passive tenses to a potent action word.  It's okay in the first draft to write, "George was under the tree, which was where he'd first fallen in love with Marilyn." However, by the second draft, a reader would find the following more compelling: "George stumbled through the forest and stopped under the looming branches of the gnarled oak.  He reached out to touch the carved heart grown into the trunk with his name just visible over Marilyn's."  The reader gets far more information and is far more intrigued by action and show than tell.  George stumbles, stops, and reaches.  The branches loom.  If the author saves "to be" for special occasions, even "am" or "was" can become significant.  For instance, "George stood with muscles tensed between Marilyn's limp body and the thugs snarling in front of him.  He thrust his sword toward his attackers and challenged them to try to get past him.  They charged ahead.  He deflected their jabs on every side.  None could get past where he was."  If the paragraph before is filled with strong action verbs, then "was" at the end feels stronger.

Just as a caveat, remember that strong, varied verbs are unnecessary in dialogue tags.  In fact, editors view the frequent use of anything but "said" or "answered" as a sign of a novice writer.  They may reject your manuscript simply for using other dialogue tags.  However, all other verbs should be carefully considered and chosen.

In short, it's best to write a novel as if you were composing a screenplay.  As much as possible, show emotion through action, and you'll be less likely to tell your audience everything you should be showing through strong verbs.