Fulfillment

For the last year and a half, I have been working on the first novel of a sort of LDS romance trilogy, a tag team novel that starts with After the dream and is about Julia and Pedro, who discover that the illusion of happily ever after doesn't last and then have to pick up the pieces and start anew.  The next one will feature one of the major characters from the first one and will be called Pigs Fly.  It's about Connor, a man who decides he will only marry when pigs fly, then he meets a female pilot with a pet pig.  The third, Drama's Queen, features Connor's mentor, Gayle, who is a woman in her late fifties/early sixties and has decided since romance has never worked out for her, she only ever needs to worry about taking care of her elderly mother and running a community theater.  Then a man comes along to complicate things.

I have been wanting to get properly published in a popular market for as long as I can remember.  I have children's books and other short pieces to send out, but it always feels like pressing things get in the way of moving forward on my dream.  There is no satisfaction like seeing that email that publishers have received your manuscript after a lifetime of wanting that.  Of course, it will be better yet when I get an acceptance.  But that email ranked among the best Christmas presents I've ever had.  It means I followed through on a commitment to myself at long last.  Now, to push forward with the next.

I hope everyone who reads this had a wonderful Christmas season.

It's all about the Character

A Movie that Didn't Work: 

I tried to watch "Tomorrowland," one of the newer attempts by Disney to get people jazzed about their amusement park rides.  I like the director.  He's Pixar.  He wrote "Up," "Wall-E," "Monster's Inc," both of the first "Toy Story" movies, and directed "Iron Giant."  The man's a genius.  [Pete Docter] Yet I slept through half of the movie and don't particularly feel the need to watch it again to see what I missed.  It makes me sad because it feels kind of like this movie, in spite of the man behind it, lost its soul to the Disney machine.  Or never had one to begin with BECAUSE of the Disney machine.

Why? 

So I asked myself why didn't I care?  Where did this movie go wrong?  And then I thought of how this show felt more like the live-action phone directory "X-Men 3" than it did "X-Men Origins."  The visuals were awesome.  But I didn't care.  The characters could all have died in a massive explosion, and it wouldn't have bothered me.  Why?  Because it made the standard mistake I wouldn't have expected of a genius like Mr. Docter.  I watched the entire first third at least, and I couldn't tell either main character from any other kid/adult on any other movie.  They didn't have quirk.  They didn't have a puppy, the quickest and easiest way to make an audience care.  They didn't have a child or someone they loved and lost or simply loved in the first place.  No tragedy or angst and little humor.  They just stayed flat, without a heart with which I could identify.  

Card's Story Types: 

I understand part of it is the story type Mr. Docter employs here.  Orson Scott Card discusses four types of drives in a story.  [Story Types, #OrsonScottCard] I'm sure others have described this, but his descriptions are the ones that stick with me.  One has to complete the story arc dictated by the type of story being told, or it will not feel complete and satisfying. A writer can employ multiple aspects of the basic types, but one tends to be the true driving force.

  1. Question-Driven:

One type is question-driven.  Think murder mystery.  Who dunnit?  The story ain't over until you answer that one driving question.  Any kind of story can have a question drive, but that doesn't always make them totally question-driven.  Questions can propel any story and make it more compelling.  Much of the Harry Potter series is driven forward by questions.  How did his parents really die?  What and where is the Chamber of Secrets?  That sort of thing.  But if your story is primarily question-driven, you can't start with who dunnit and expect readers to be satisfied when your murder remains unsolved, but your main character lives happily ever after.  This is not "Tomorrowland," though some questions did attempt to propel it forward.  What are those lapel buttons?  Why do they take one somewhere different when touched?  But the story wasn't over when the questions were answered.

  2. Plot-Driven: 

"Tomorrowland" is more like two other types, plot-driven and milieu.  When a plot drives the story, the author usually begins with a world with major problems.  With the beginning of the movie, they tried to introduce a problem with the world, that the future is in danger.  It was such a nebulous and clichéd problem that I wasn't really convinced.  But that's the basic idea behind plot-driven stories, that something is wrong with the world that needs to be fixed, and the story isn't done until it is fixed.  Once again, with Harry Potter, the novels aren't done until the blight on the world, Voldemort and the Death Eaters, are killed or imprisoned.  Most fantasy and sci fi stories fall here.

  3. Milieu: 

But really, first and foremost, "Tomorrowland" is, in my mind, the least interesting of the types, the milieu story.  The story is a tour of this magical futuristic paradise, Tomorrowland.  This makes sense because it's a movie about a Disney theme park ride.  But any story where the world IS the main character tends to fall flat for me.  Even Lord of the Rings, the prototype for a large segment of modern fantasy novels, fails to keep my interest all the way through because it is clearly milieu.  The characters are just a feature of the landscape.  Card points out that all elves, dwarves, even humans are fairly interchangeable with others like them.  The only thing that makes them unique is that there tends to be one of each: Legolas is the only elf on the quest, Frodo or Bilbo, the only Hobbit on his respective quest, Gandalf the only wizard, etc.  This is not to say that it's not a great work of modern writing.  I appreciate its merit and its importance in books and movies to come.  I just personally don't find it all that compelling.  The movies succeed more for me because the movie makers worked harder to make the characters unique.  But the first of the Hobbit movies fails for this reason for me because of the mass of indistinguishable dwarves.  As in a milieu story, Harry Potter tours the Wizarding World, but that is secondary to the characters' voyage, making that series primarily something else.

  4. Character-driven:

That something else that most drives the Harry Potter series is the kind of story I find most compelling.  It is character-driven.  In a character driven story, the main character is somehow dissatisfied with life, unhappy in his own skin.  The story ends when he has grown, improved what is wrong, or come to terms with life.  Harry begins an awkward kid, miserable in his own skin because the people around him make him miserable.  It ends when his character rises triumphant and has gained the confidence he lacked before and has gained mastery over his world. Everything else is secondary to this.  Yes, we tour various aspects of the Wizarding World.  Yes, we have our questions answered.  And yes, what is wrong with the world is now fixed.  But more importantly, Harry is happy and in a much better place in his relationship with himself.

What's Lacking? 

This character-driven aspect is the part totally lacking in "Tomorrowland."  The flat characters learn things and might change in relationship to each other, but there is no growth because there wasn't really a starting place to begin with.  The "characters" took a back seat to the land all the way through, so there is action and movement without growth or development.  This is where "X-Men 3" totally and utterly failed as well for me because the movie makers made a huge mistake in relying on the audience already knowing and caring about the characters.  I did know and care about them, but I wanted that renewed.  I wanted Wolverine to remind me who he was, Jean Grey to remind me why two heroes are vying for her love, and so on.  When that didn't happen, and when even what I did know about the characters was betrayed and undermined by what I saw on the screen, the movie fell totally flat.  Any new characters were introduced by face, name, and powers but not by why I should care about them.  I know the movie makers must have realized this in retrospect because its sequel erased its existence, inserting time travel into the story to make sure "X-Men 3" never happened.

So What? 

And here's where the writing part comes in.  Rule number one for me, and for most people whether they realize it or not, is make me care.  Give me a character about whom I can and do care.  I will forgive special effects flaws.  I will forgive a weak or somewhat silly plot line or writing.  I will forgive a world that isn't entirely convincing.  Obviously, it's best if I don't have to slog through all of that because you focus on improving it all by the end of the writing process.  But I will forgive all of this and stay with you to the ends of the universe if you first make me care about your character.  Give him or her a heart, someone to love, someone to mourn, and humor to draw me in.  If an atomic bomb had wiped away all the characters by the end of "X-Men 3" or the book Fellowship of the Ring, I would have yawned and gone to bed.  But I will follow you anywhere, cry when the character cries and soar when he triumphs, if I first care. This is your so-what, your compelling force that will take me through a question-driven mystery about which I may not otherwise care, a plot-driven, cliched sword and sorcery yarn, or even a milieu tour of your tired universe.  Within two or three pages, give me someone to love, to identify with, to be for this moment, and you have me and other readers no matter what your genre.

Daily

Rule number one when you want to be a writer is write every day, no matter what.  I'm editing every day, sometimes rewriting, but I wonder if it counts.  I have a story inside, several actually.  I need to let them come out.  But when procrastination is easier than writing, fresh writing doesn't happen.  Every day, I do something.  Most days, I read my last manuscript with my husband.  I want to get it done, get it edited and submitted for publication.  So yes, it needs to be priority one.  But it can't be my only priority, writing-wise.  I juggle so many things, like everyone does: family, work, life.  But if writing is truly important to me, just like with anything, I need to show it.  I think I'll go do some writing now.

Quilt Writing

Me vs. the Outline: 

I keep hearing all these authors recommend outlining.  Organize, outline, write, then outline some more.  I can see how that would be really helpful in a lot of genres and with a lot of writers' styles.  But I've heard again and again that the most important thing for an author to do, aside from reading the genre they want to write, is simply to write.  I find when I am staring at the prospect at something so organized as an outline, I get nowhere.  I don't obey rule number one, which is to write.

How I write:

The book I'm polishing now is not the product of an outline.  I had the rough shape of a story in my head, extensive notes about characterizations--more at a later date on that topic--and an inkling of where I wanted it to end.  Then I just wrote. I'm what I heard at a conference referred to as a "pantser," one who goes by the seat of her pants.  I like to refer to myself, at least with this novel, as a quilt writer.  I kept my imagination net out and thought, "Well, that would make for an interesting scene with this character" and then sat and wrote it.  Scene after scene, I searched the characterization, my story concept, and the world around me for bits that would mesh well and make for an interesting scene.

Then when the shape of my story became more clear, I organized the scenes, the quilt squares, into a sort of order that made sense.  As time has gone on, I've tightened it, added or cut a scene, and farmed it out to readers in part or in whole.  As I've gotten feedback, the quilt has gotten tighter.  It is now in a more or less final form.  I'm now going scene by scene, enhancing and crafting the language.

I found the process very enjoyable, and I don't doubt I'll use it again.  One might argue that one step here could be called outlining.  But if I think of it that way, writers' block will set in.  I know this method won't work for everyone, but I like it.  And when it comes to first drafting, at least, that's all that matters.  As it says in the movie "Finding Forester," write the first draft with your heart and second with your head.  And my heart likes quilting.

A Good Sign

Growth

I hear it's a good sign of growth when you can look back at your old writing and see it needs a lot of help.  I am finding that's very true.  I look back at some of my early stuff and wonder where the life and power is.

But I'm also finding the same can be true when I look back at books I loved as a child.  I'm rereading a novel I read over and over when I was younger.  That book shall remain nameless, but I'm finding that the writing is flat, lifeless, drones on, and could really use a good edit.  I even found a few typos.  I look at the world of published books and often find the same is true of what's available today.

On occasion, though, I find that book, that writer, that makes me go, "Wow, I wish I could write like this."  Fresh metaphors, potent verbs, and very very few [if any] adverbs or to be verbs.

A Role Model:

When I first read the Harry Potter series, I was like so many others, wowed by her writing and the way the characters leaped right off the page to become someone near to everyone's heart.  Then I read some reviews, most notably Stephen King's critique of Rowling's generous use of adverbs.  I also learned more about writing myself.  I recently reread the series and saw how Rowling personifies that growth.  Her early works are still good, vivid, and engaging.  But they grow and mature until, in my view anyway, they become quite literary and something I could see teaching in college one day.  Her symbolism, metaphor, and allusion are all impressive.

Incidentally, the fifth Potter book reviewed by King in his article [#orderofthephoenix] has totally changed for me since I learned what it is to mourn deeply.  Unlike those childhood books, this one has gotten better.  The first time I read it, Harry seemed angry, so much so that I ceased to understand him.  Then I lost my baby, and I understood Harry so much better.  Harry personifies grief in his anger.  He is angry at more than Umbridge and Voldemort.  He's angry at himself for outliving his mentor.  He's angry at the universe for continuing as normal when everything for him has changed.  For me, the fifth book has become the thestral of the series.  Before, I couldn't see it.  Now, I can.  It has become if not my favorite book then a close second.  

Maybe one day, when I revisit my early works I'm looking to publish soon, I will see how I've developed as a writer.  It's possible they will get better in my mind, but I hope not.  I hope I grow enough that I see all the flaws.  As has been said before, if you're not constantly improving as a writer, maybe writing is not the field for you.

My Journey

My Childhood Writing:

My name is Tamara Copley.  I'm an LDS writer.  

My first love took the form of unicorns and dragons.  Okay, maybe not my first love.  But my first love after my family and cats included the paired genres of fantasy and fairy tales.  My gateway drugs from a very young age were Disney princess movies, the early ones, and the "Serendipity" series by Steven Cosgrove.  The series features cats and other mundane animals but also unicorns, sea creatures, and dragons, all with vibrant illustrations and lavish descriptions.  When I found the true love of my life in sixth grade, starting with Anne McCaffrey's "Dragon Riders of Pern" and plowing through anything with a remotely fantastic cover, I felt like I was in heaven. 

In high school, I started what I liked to think of as my writing career, with a complete novel at the beginning of a series and then in undergrad, with the complete novel at the end.  I'd share a thumbnail sketch of series-not-written to anyone who would listen.  I wrote bits and pieces of novels and short stories and fantasized about my future as a fantasy writer. 

But before I even got past the editing phase, I began to realize my stories had no depth, no complicated characters nor substantial meaning.  They had a few schticks like alien telepathic shapeshifters that became cats, but I had not brought anything new or unique to the genre, and the words remained flat on the page.  Then when I got married and had two kids, who love fairy tales, Serendipity books, and above all, dragons, I got so excited to share a piece of creative world.  Only to have the kids act bored within a couple of pages.  I knew I wanted to be a writer but wasn't sure this was my calling. 

When Everything Changed

And then my baby died, and the world I had known before crumbled.  For more on that, refer to my other blog, Alamanda's Place.  This blog isn't about that but about my experience and reflections as a writer.  All desire for stories about dragons and shapeshifting cats faded.  This is not to say there aren't amazing authors of brilliant fantasy out there, who could take their pain and make it the foundation of brilliant fantasy.  But I found as I tried to assemble the pieces of my life, it just wasn't me.  I didn't know how to move my fantasy past the words on a page into the kind of life-changing, heart-touching writing I needed to do now.  

Now What?

So I looked at the kinds of writing that would help me figure out how to explore meanings and weightier themes.  I started a book about mourning.  Maybe I'll go back to it when I feel like I'm ready.  But five years haven't given me enough great insights to fill a book like that.  One day, maybe my husband and I will team up on a book about our joint mourning experience, but not yet.  First, I decided to write a book that would help me process my experience in code, with the distance fiction provides. 

So what could I write that I could finish and that may help other people in my native tongue of fiction?  Teachers always say write what you know.  So what did I know?  I knew how to be a Mormon woman who has experienced pain.  So I wrote a book about a Mormon woman who experiences pain.  Romance, too.  But the real story grows out of pain. Hers is not exactly my pain, but it's close enough that I feel a kinship, a connection, with the protagonist, or rather protagonists, since my draft is from two perspectives.  But I started writing, and it flowed.  It took about a year for it to wrap up and more than that to turn it into a novel worth reading.  But I'm in the polishing stages and will soon be attempting to submit for publication. 

A Writer's Path

My best advice to budding writers like me, or better yet, stalled writers like me who have been trying to bud for a long time, is rethink your path.  If you're a writer, you are driven to write.  But what if you're stalled because you're writing in the wrong place on all the wrong things?  If you're writing in the wrong field?  Everyone gets writers' block at some point.  But if you've been blocked for as long as I have, maybe there's a reason the block is there.  Maybe it's time to try something new.  Just a thought.  

And maybe one day, I will revisit my home genre when I have something meaningful to say there, a new vision.  But in the meantime, I can write about people who love fantasy like I always have, people who aren't necessarily the most socially savvy or the physical personification of perfection.  But that's what makes characters fun for me is not that they are perfect like a fairy tale princess from early Disney but that they are imperfect and human like all of us.