I've been blogging about writing in a more literary fashion. Language and how to write in a way readers appreciate shifted a lot over the centuries. Writers used to use a lot of types of words and phrases that don't work at all now, so if you're going to write in a modern fashion, it's a good idea to read modern books. Ignore the tips below until you have a first draft. If you get bogged down in editing and reediting even before you have a first draft, it will take forever to get the draft. Now, authors are more and more cutting deadweight and focusing on enhancing the reader's direct experience of the events in the story.
If you read older literary works, a lot of the authors used techniques modern writers avoid. Classic writers wrote using passive voice (The gloves were lifted), "filtering," (phrases that focus on words like, "I saw," "He heard," "She looked"), unnecessary adverbs, redundancies and overwriting (He trotted in on his horse--how else would you trot?), and purple prose (excessively descriptive). Now, professional writers are moving away from all of these.
To cut the deadweight, start with the obvious. Any English teacher will mark up your work that is boring because it's so passive that it's hard to tell who does what. "The dog was walked." Who walked the dog? Who cares because the reader isn't going to stick around to find out. Make sure to emphasize the actor of the sentence. A technique that is perhaps a little less known is to avoid starting with the character who is merely observing the action, which is called filtering. Just launch the reader into the events of the story, have them feel, see, experience what your story has to offer. Instead of writing, "I looked out over the landscape, saw old trees, and felt the wind in my hair," write, "Wind rushed at me through the jagged, ancient trees."
Next, work on focusing on powerful verbs and only the most essential descriptions. Stephen King's main complaint with the early Harry Potter books was their excessive use of adverbs. One could say the same of the early Twilight books or most novice writing. Experts emphasize that one should especially avoid adverbs in dialogue tags. Find the right verb, and you don't need an adverb. "Jumped happily" could become "sprang." "Walked slowly" could become "Trudged." Also, cut words that are made clear by any other word in the sentence. Why should someone "smile happily" when happiness is implied in the smile? Why should someone "tremble in fear" when trembling is enough to imply fear? If your character is trembling with joy or anger, then, you may want to add the extra word because it's less obvious.
When you're going through your second or third draft, it's time to refine the language, to start seeking and destroying the deadweight, all adverbs that are not critical, excessive adjectives, filtering words and phrases, redundancies, and all other forms of overwriting. Give your readers the intensive experience of a well-written piece, and you'll go far.
